05 Jun Blog #8: Finding Inner Strength with Erin Paige
As soon as you meet you Erin Paige, you know you’re in the presence of someone special. There’s a glow, a calm yet strong energy, and a natural guiding presence about her kinda like this light just walked in and lit up a dark room. And I certainly needed some light.
When years of your life have been consumed by working to get it back, it does exactly that – consumes every thought, action, and reason behind everything you do. There’s lots of soul searching and asking “why me?” and “what kind of purpose can all this have?”
When I first sat down and chatted with Erin a few months ago, I had already discovered my purpose however I was feeling stuck about it. Part of it kept coming back to the humility that has been engrained in me since childhood because, after all, who am I in the big scheme of things? Nobody… just this 40-something year old who by chance was in the wrong place at the wrong time when a drunk driver decided the other side of the yellow line looked better. The fight to come back had me becoming an inspiration and a beacon of light to others. I have always been and still am thrilled it’s possible my story can help others find their own strength to keep fighting. The part of the purpose that kept me struggling (and still does though less so) is the disbelief one little [nobody] person can have that big of an effect on people. It’s daunting to feel like you’re supposed to help others when you need help yourself on a daily basis.
“I release you to become who you came here to be”
Erin showed up to that first meeting with this lovely gift: a journal of self-reflection she put together to help others not just find their purpose but embrace it without fear. It’s helped me turn my thoughts far more positive and thinking outside myself. My favorite part of our discussions has been regarding the Butterfly Effect. No, not the movie – think more the book by Andy Andrews. It’s because of that discussion and absorbing the concepts of the Butterfly Effect that I’m able to focus more on the smaller more meaningful moments & interactions, versus feeling like everything now that I do has to be this huge, monumental thing. I’m far more present with people. I’m far more willing to believe one person CAN make a difference. I’m far more accepting of what’s happened to me as well.
I’m also having more fun! “Funny” story… Erin shared in the power of doodling and putting overwhelming feelings & energy into something positive, which we talked about that first day. It just so happens that once upon a time I was quite the artist (in my own mind) and absolutely loved painting. It also just so happened getting my creative streak back is something I’ve been wanting since the start of this all when my Dad and stepmom gifted me some fine artist pens and a journal when I was still in the hospital. Back then I couldn’t hold a fork in my hand to feed myself, let alone a pen or pencil. I’ve not only been doodling as I’ve been urged, I’ve picked up a form of art called Zentangle where I can loosen up and get creative with small works of art (each one of these is only a few inches across) that my jacked up hand can do. These are meant to be created quickly and since they’re small, I can channel energy into these before my hand gets too fatigued after a short while. It’s pretty cool!!
Thank you for reading!! Next post I’m thinking I might give you some background on who I am, and what’s my story any way????